1) My first job was in an orange factory, but I couldn’t concentrate.

2) Then i worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3) After that I tried working in a doughnut shop, but I soon got tired of the hole business.

4) I manufactured calendars, but my days were numbered.

5) I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it.

6) I took a job as an upholsterer, but I never recovered.

7) Next I tried working in a car muffler factory, but that was exhausting.

8) I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldnt cut it.

9) I studied to become a doctor, but I didn’t have enough patients for the job.

10) I became a velcro salesman, but I couldn’t stick with it.

11) I tried my hand at a professional career in tennis, but it wasn’t my racket.

12) I became a baker, but it wasnt a cakewalk, and I couldn’t make enough dough.

13) I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

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15) I thought about being a historian, but I couldn’t see a future in it.

16) Next I was an electrician, but I found the work shocking and revolting, so they discharged me.

17) I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my class.

18) I turned to farming, but I wasn’t outstanding in my field.

19) I took a job as an elevator operator. The job had its ups and downs, and I got the shaft.

20) I sold origami, but the business folded.

21) I took a job at UPS, but I couldn’t express myself.

22) Then I tried being a fireman, but I suffered burnout.

23) I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity, and finally withdrew from the job.

24) I was a professional fisherman, but I couldn’t live on my net income.

25) I next worked in a shoe factory, but I just didn’t fit in. They thought I was a loafer, and I got the boot.

26) Then I worked at starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

27) so I’ve retired, and I find I’m a perfect fit for this job!

credit: Akiva Fox