Where are Jim, Tim, and Franklin now?

Just in case you might have wondered how their ineptitude affected their lives after they ruined so many dreams and lives….let me refresh your memory:
Where are Jim, Tim and Franklin now? Here’s a quick look into the three former Fannie Mae executives who brought down Wall Street.

Franklin Raines – was a Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Fannie Mae. Raines was forced to retire from his position with Fannie Mae when auditing discovered severe irregularities in Fannie Mae’s accounting activities. Raines left with a “golden parachute valued at $240 Million in benefits. The Government filed suit against Raines when the depth of the accounting scandal became clear.

Tim Howard – was the Chief Financial Officer of Fannie Mae. Howard “was a strong internal proponent of using accounting strategies that would ensure a “stable pattern of earnings” at Fannie. Investigations by federal regulators and the company’s board of directors since concluded that management did manipulate 1998 earnings to trigger bonuses. Raines and Howard resigned under pressure in late 2004. Howard’s Golden Parachute was estimated at $20 Million!

Jim Johnson – A former executive at Lehman Brothers and who was later forced from his position as Fannie Mae CEO. Investigators found that Fannie Mae had hidden a substantial amount of Johnson’s 1998 compensation from the public, reporting that it was between $6 million and $7 million when it fact it was $21 million.” Johnson is currently under investigation for taking illegal loans from Countrywide while serving as CEO of Fannie Mae. Johnson’s Golden Parachute was estimated at $28 Million.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

FRANKLIN RAINES?
Raines works for the Obama Campaign as his Chief Economic Advisor.

TIM HOWARD?
Howard is a Chief Economic Advisor to Obama under Franklin Raines.

JIM JOHNSON?
Johnson was hired as a Senior Obama Finance Advisor and was selected to run Obama’s Vice Presidential Search Committee.

WOW

A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business.

Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different.. He called all the young executives in his company together.

He said, “It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you. “The young executives were Shocked, but the boss continued. “I am going to give each one of you a SEED today – one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO.”

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn’t have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by — still nothing in Jim’s pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn’t say anything to his colleagues, however… He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil – He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn’t going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right.

He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful — in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.

Jim just tried to hide in the back. “My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown,” said the CEO. “Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!”

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, “The CEO knows I’m a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!”

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed – Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, “Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is Jim!” Jim couldn’t believe it. Jim couldn’t even grow his seed.

“How could he be the new CEO?” the others said.

Then the CEO said, “One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead – it was not possible for them to grow.

All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!”

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust
* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends
* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness
* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment
* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective
* If you plant hard work, you will reap success
* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation

So, be careful what you plant now;
it will determine what you will reap later..

“Whatever You Give To Life, Life Gives You Back”

• The recession has hit everybody really hard…
• My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
• Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
• CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
• Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
• A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
• I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
• If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
• McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
• Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
• Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s’ names.
• A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
• A picture is now only worth 200 words.
• When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
• The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally….

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline.  I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Compliments of Diana Baxter

Ever Wonder how fast Walmart has conquered just the United States. Check out this 15 second Video that will show you how fast the Walmart Epidemic has spread across the US. Its incredible to image that just one person started this. Sam Walton was the pioneer behind this Multi Billion dollar business. The United States Consumer Price, and Spending Index is now measured by Walmart sales and figures. Go Figure.

Check it out….

Google’s instant search feature is a great tool, however, sometimes it works against you.

If you type certain things into the google toolbar it tries to figure out the rest of what you are going to search….

Well look below.  (click to enlarge)

Jews are What???

So Zack Brown The Vice President of Sales and Marketing at Optimal Fusion just had his 30th birthday. We didn’t really know what to do for him. Tom, a colleague of ours had a great idea. There is this guy named Sergio Flores who is an internet sensation who is known for crashing places with his saxophone and playing George Michael’s “Careless Whisper”. People Generally get annoyed and kick him out. His original video got over 4.5 million views. You can see that video HERE. So on that Fateful Friday morning, while Zack was waiting to have a meeting with me at 11:00 AM. This is what happened.

THIS MORNING – I WOKE UP TO THIS LETTER FROM MY BLACKBERRY
PRETTY SCARY!!!!

__

Dear Owner,

I’m so lucky I’m your BlackBerry!

You hold me with both hands gently as u could be.

You ensure that I am always with you.

If I fall you are afraid of my injury.

I always have your undivided attention, you get upset if others disturb our time together.

U can never forget me in a taxi & u won’t let me go unlike my old friends nokia, sony and sammy that u would proudly just hand over.

When u eat, I’m beside u. When u r on the toilet, I’m with u. When u sleep, my head is by ur pillow.

When I scream u rush and pick me up like an egg.

When I feel low, you make every effort to recharge my battery. When I am hungry, you fill me with airtime. You buy me all sorts of clothes to cover my precious skin. And if I make u feel t like a cowboy u strap me to ur waist or jeans.

Every month you ensure that you set aside the money, to buy me bundles (of love).

You upgraded me from my friends nokia, sony and sammy to a curve, bold & torch.

You rush home from work and spend quality time with me; not really bothered to make a conversation with those at home. You can sit up with me for hours and smile at me, yet I have no humanly emotions; sometimes I make u laugh that ppl think u are mad. I watch your wife/hubby or ‎​your bf/gf who envies our time together.

But dearie…

I appeal to you.

Your life is wasted because of me. Take some time, leave me aside and Sort out issues that are important to you because I may love you as much as you do love me but I’m just a blackberry, nothing more!

                      Kind Pings,

                      Your Blackberry

We have all been waiting for this day. Blackberry has finally come out with an iPhone like device people call it the iPhone killer – lets wait and see..
BlackBerry 6 software sneak peek. Its got a new BlackBerry Browser and Social Feeds applications.

This was sent to me by my mother…..

Read this and make a copy for your files in case you need to refer to it someday. Maybe we should all take some of his advice! A corporate attorney sent the following out to the employees in his company:

1…. Do not sign the back of your credit cards. Instead, put ‘PHOTO ID REQUIRED.’

2. When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the complete account number on the ‘For’ line. Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing channels won’t have access to it.

3. Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone. If you have a PO Box use that instead of your home address. If you do not have a PO Box, use your work address. Never have your SS# printed on your checks. (DUH!) You can add it if it is necessary. But if you have It printed, anyone can get it.

4. Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine. Do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel…. Keep the photocopy in a safe place. I also carry a photocopy of my passport when I travel either here or abroad. We’ve all heard horror stories about fraud that’s committed on us in stealing a Name, address, Social Security number, credit cards. Unfortunately, I, an attorney, have first hand knowledge because my wallet was stolen last month…. Within a week, the thieves ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online, and more. But here’s some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know:

5. We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. But the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them.

6. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your credit cards, etc., were stolen. This proves to credit providers you were diligent, and this is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).

But here’s what is perhaps most important of all: (I never even thought to do this.)
7. Call the 3 national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and also call the Social Security fraud line number. I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the internet in my name.

The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen, and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit.

By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done. There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves’ purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them dead in their tracks…

Now, here are the numbers you always need to contact about your wallet, if it has been stolen:

1.) Equifax:
1-800-525-6285
1-800-525-6285

2.) Experian (formerly TRW):
1-888-397-3742
1-888-397-3742

3.) Trans Union
1-800-680 7289
1-800-680 7289

4.) Social Security Administration
(fraud line):
1-800-269-0271
1-800-269-0271

We pass along jokes on the Internet; we pass along just about everything. If you are willing to pass this information along, it could really help someone that you care about.

This has to be a pretty Twisted Parody. Although it has been a few months since Billy has passed away, South Park decieds to put out a parody with him in it. They are so twisted. Let the poor guys soul rest. Anyway…. Here it is… Judge for yourself.

You no Longer need photoshop – check out this new technology that has been created by some chinese students.  Insert elements into a sketch and VOILA – it creats an actual picture. AMAZING.

PhotoSketch: Internet Image Montage from tao chen on Vimeo.

New York – Anything in numerology ? The eighth anniversary of the 9/11 terror attacks brought a reminder of how little progress the stock market has made since then, largely because of the steep slide that began two years ago. On Sept. 10, 2001, the Dow ended at 9,605.51; that is nearly identical to friday’s close of 9,605.41.

This was sent to me by one of the pioneers in the infomercial industry
Funny parody

There is a BBM or email going around now – and I am just trying to show how powerful Google is….
Here is a picture of what is being sent around

White People Stole My Car Google Results Original www.joelbess.com

Its offensive – yes. I agree.

If you went to google trends an hour after it was passed around and after the whole world twittered the pic –
you will see this as the Hottest trends.

White People Stole My Car Google Trend Results www.joelbess.com

Now look at what happens when you type in that phrase in Google
look how many google results there are already with blogs and all.

AMAZING

White People Stole My Car Google Results www.joelbess.com

This has to be one of the best sites I have seen in a while. If you ever want to feel good about your financial situation – all you have to do is click on this link. 🙂

What do I have to do to Thank you!!

Thanks GOOG